Kitten Convo #1

I decided I would start posting my craziness on here. (I know, scary right? What's already on here ISN'T my craziness.) So I talk to my cats. Like a lot. Probably too much. So I figured I would post them on here because I've been told they're fucking hilarious (they're not hilarious at the time, when I'm being passive aggresive and bitter towards my cats, also for those of you who don't know CVS is just one of those stupid stores you can buy anything and everything at, except Jello. I found that out today.) Sorry about the highlight, can't make it go away >.>

Just had the following conversation "With the cat." I say "With the cat." Because obviously she didn't say anything back because she likes to pretend to be mute when I'm angry at her:
Me:*After finding my bag from CVS all wet, and smelling it.* Did you...Did you pee on this?
Sox: O_O
Me: You just peed on this...this just happened.
Sox: O_O

Me: *Picks up bag, looks at bed.* You literally peed IN the bag, didn't get a single drop on the bed do you? You have the aim to make it into a crumpled up plastic bag on the bed filled with my toothpaste and deodorant but you can't make it onto the hole in the toilet?
Sox: O_O
Me: You did this...You know what? I'm not making this an event. This isn't a thing. This didn't happen. I'm just not doing this. *pulls tube of toothpaste out of pee-soggy box* Yeah, this just occurred. *wipes off all contents of bag after washing them as best as possible in soap*
Sox: ~_~
Me: This is happening *looks at chair and sees mystery liquid, sniffs and identifies mystery liquid* Yep, that's happening too. I guess all of this was just a thing wasn't it? You made this a thing.
Sox: *Falls over and goes to sleep in the window* -_-
Me: Now I know why your brothers ass was wet after sitting on the bed. I hope you know you made your brothers ass wet. Is that what you want? Is that your goal in life? Do you just sit around all day while I'm at school and go "How can I make everything in this room reek AND make my brothers ass wet at the same time?"
Sox: *blinks and looks up at me before going back to sleep.
Me: Or do you just hold it until your tiny kitten bladder explodes over my toothpaste. I have to put this in my mouth. *Holds up tube of pee-smelling toothpaste*
Sox: *yawns and stretches again*
Me: I should brush your teeth. How fun will that be? It's the foaming kind, you get pee foam in your mouth. Is that what you want too? You get pee-foam and your brother gets wet-ass?
Sox: *Snuggles up with Ozzy*
Me: I hate you.

Check below for interview with Naughty and a link to her blog for my responses!